There is nothing ‘out to get you’ – Your mind does NOT have a ‘mind of its own’ – You are NOT insane or going insane – you know deep down that this is something that seems foreign to who you really are.
You don’t like the experience – you want it to stop – it is NOT ‘who’ you are even if it feels at times that you are ‘going mad’ – you are just frightened and very weary – who wouldn’t be?
You became sensitised for various reasons- it wasn’t your fault – then the thought/s got stuck in your head the way a song can get stuck in your head – simply because of the anxiety cycle – but you took the thought more seriously and the added anxiety increased the cycle even more.
It is as simple as that. All recovery practice is aimed at helping you see this simple truth. Simple but not easy.