In this dialogue Julie hasn’t had a panic attack for several days but – as she says herself – she has “been desperately for last four days… ‘trying’ to be calm and stable“ Clearly there is still a lot of fear about panic which can only be cleared through repeated exposure practice.
R – hi
J – hi
R – feeling any better
J – may be
R – still feel panic
J – yes. a little
R – have u tried to practice with it
J – yes
just doing that
R – did u read the panic booklet
J – no.. but practiced sincerely
i am caught between … my old ways of making me feel good .. and practice..
because i want to work etc. i am tempted to use my old ways and correct things…
and because of this new way of looking at life …… i cannot use ANY of my earlier logics and so i feel terrified.
i am so confused
i don’t know what to do .. what to think
R – maybe you are thinking that this panic u feel is different than the panic u felt in the big store
it’s NOT
all panic is same
but we interpret it differently
J – ok.. so this too will not harm me.
R – not in a million years
u need to understand that this requires REPEATED practice
this is THE top problem i encounter with all people
J – i am sorry. .. whenever i try to throw everything i am used to away… makes me so scared..
R – some how or other i knew years ago i needed to repeat this practice until it finally worked
but most people give up
or slow up
or ease off the practice
and then they feel it doesn’t work
like expecting to learn piano with 5 lessons
and play brilliantly
and when it doesn’t work they give up
you KNOW EXACTLY NOW what panic is
so WHY waste your time seeing it in your old way??
J – i don’t want to give up… but my mind is trying every trick to make me stick to the old pattern right now
yes
R – it’s up to YOU to override YOUR mind
i think u have TWO things going on at minute
physical panic feelings
and mental worry and usual fear
you need to balance how u are using your mind right now
you are stressed with the script (work)
u need to GO OUT – walk
exercise
watch a comedy
then practice with the mental activity
J – yes.. i don’t want to give up..
the biggest trap that my mind can create for me.. is putting in front of me the self image i am scared of.. .. and push me into panic..
and i am most scared thinking that people will declare me mad and push me away…or out of their way… this is the greatest fear i have… (this is my scared mind seeing.. not me.) .. yes
R – observe how the mind adds fear to the fear and gets caught in it’s own trap
J – yes
R – for next few hours try to OBSERVE the mind catatsrophising
and the EXACT panic thoughts
J – yes
R – WRITE THEM DOWN
J – ok
R – but also do something LIGHT HEARTED
J – yes. i need that.
R – watch TV – go out for walk
make a face in the mirror
tell Melanie to tickle u
NOT AS DISTRACTION
but as NORMALITY
just try to practice with whatever
J – yes
Therapist: that’s all
J – i will
R – if you TRY to be calm u get tense
REMEMBER
J – yes
R – just remind yourself of all the truth about anxiety
J – i will remember.. that’s what i have been desperately doing.. for last four days… ‘trying’ to be calm and stable 🙂
yes
R – i know – everyone falls into that trap
Recovery is NOTHING to do with that
it’s getting to point where u tell panic to DO IT”S WORST
because you KNOW it’s JUST adrenaline
J – yes
R – why would you need to calm yourself down if it’s just adrenaline
J – yes
R – u are in no danger so why worry about being calm
it’s a trick
when we try desperately to be calm it shows we are fearful of the sensations
so observe that
and go – ah ha
it’s the subtle behaviours that keep it going
J – yes
R – then u laugh
there is NOTHING at ALL out to harm u in ANY way – u are fine
J – yes
R – for whatever reason you experience fight or flight sensations
then your memory remembers feeling bad in past
then you add worry about what might happen
then your body responds with more adrenaline
J – yes
R – it’s all a MISTAKE
J – yes
R – and NOTHING WHATSOEVER is ‘actually’ wrong
no one with panic has EVER died
lol
or gone mad lol
J – lol ..